As you may have noticed, I really like "The Matrix"; I remember watching the movie when I was in second grade and losing my shit. Ironically my parents had strictly made it clear that I should not watch it, given that it would fuck me up, and you know how it is, don't become do's when we fail to understand for the purpose of experience.
What do I mean by "there is no spoon"? In the movie, once the hero (Neo) is beginning his journey, he encounters a kid bending a spoon by just observing it. It grabs his attention, well it grabs everyone's attention, and the kid passes the spoon to Neo to give it a try with an advice that there is no spoon. As I recall the scene over and over again, I understand that this specific line can be interpreted in many different ways. From my perspective, the spoon is basically a reflection of inner self and bends according to will. The beautiful message is that the same principle can be implemented in our own reality. Now I don't mean that we can just sit and meditate for our external environment to shape the life that we desire. Given the laws of the Universe, almost anything can be achieved if the right amount of time and effort is invested accordingly. The outcome will present itself as a reflection of our initial and constant inputs.
We all have a moment or moments in our lives where we are suddenly hit with the light of understanding; whether its 2 + 2 equals 4, that happiness is inward and nothing to do with external environment, or understanding that ego and expectation have been programmed and practiced from early childhood.
There are different reasons why I started questioning everything at the age of 25; it could be that my brain plasticity was developed by then, or I was introduced to drugs for the first time and my reality was perceived differently, or perhaps my frustration had reached its pedestal and I could no longer accept the life I was living. I don't really know what triggered my "awakening". I do remember that I started questioning literally everything. The 3W. Where did I come from? Why am I here? What's next? I was struggling with past, present, and future. I was looking for one concrete answer to understand what was happening. My frustration grew further when I couldn't find an answer and no one seemed to know or be interested in knowing the answer. Perhaps no one really knows what all "this" really is.
I was raised that a higher power knows all the answers and everything happens for a reason. We tend to "believe" and "make" meanings as we proceed. I began disliking the word believe/belief; it wasn't even a hypothesis, no trial or error. Just a dogmatic belief that was not adding up with anything.
Three years later and here I am, writing for anyone who is starting to question everything. Just understand that you are not alone or going crazy, I thought I was losing my shit and couldn't really talk to anyone about it when it all began. My purpose is to share my experiences. My writing will make you uncomfortable, as it made me, and you may have to question your habits and thoughts to rebuild a foundation that serves you the most. And no, its not too late. We are basically an adaptation machine that can literally be programmed to think and do anything. This isn't woo-woo and there are countless scientific facts to emphasize how neurochemistry works. Just remember that tomorrow may never come and nothing in life is guaranteed, except for failure and The Present Moment.
Thus enjoy, reflect, evolve, and transcend.